Books like Life’s Little Instruction Book or All You Needed to Know You Learned in Kindergarten are great stocking stuffers and gifts for graduates outside your bloodline. But for my child, I’m stockpiling words of advice that I’m going to unload on him when he’s old enough to listen and appreciate receiving it. Like, say, when he’s 40. Joking aside, profound advice doled out by authors reflecting on regrets is nice and all, but I am going to slap some straight-up applicable advice on my kid starting with which friends he should collect as an adult.
Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
– Terry Pratchett
I don’t have a contagious infection. I’m not prone to accidents. I’m not a reality show participant. But I live in a bubble. That bubble is also affectionately known to me as my hometown. I ventured to live elsewhere for a few years, although not far away. I returned, enthusiastically, to live closer to family after having a child. Now as I approach mid-life, I’m questioning if this bubble is serving more as a padded cell.
I got a 100 on my math test.
I tell people that on occasion. Oddly, I’m not taking a math class. Hell, I’m not even in school. Even if I were in school it’s a brag I would have no rights to considering I barely passed math at all. No, the statement does not apply to me whatsoever. But it is a phrase that pops into my head at the strangest times. So strange that my family and I agreed that when it does, I should just blurt it out so perhaps they can understand and possibly attach reason to my moments of insanity. Here are some of those moments: